It was 6am. I had went to bed at midnight the night before and am used to getting 8 hours of sleep at a minimum. (I love my sleep!) But I wanted to do a photo shoot for the blog with the sun rising over Lake Michigan and this was the only morning to do it. Craig had agreed to get up with me to go take the photos. He’s always such a trooper and generous with his time.
We took a long walk – just under a mile and a half to get to the specific spot I wanted to go to and we started the shoot. Right as the sun rises to its full beautiful glory, Craig tells me that the camera’s battery is dead. We had only been shooting for about 5 minutes, which in my head, meant we had zero photos that we could use in a post. I was immediately angry. I wasn’t mad at Craig. The camera is my responsibility as this is my gig anyways. I hadn’t taken the time to prepare for the shoot and didn’t charge the battery the night before. I was so mad at myself for not thinking ahead, for getting up and ready so early, for wasting a beautiful morning (it has been cloudy a lot here lately), for feeling like an outfit was wasted, and for knowing that this was the only time we had in the week to do this shoot.
We had planned to go to the gym after the shoot. As we were walking back, I was steaming. Poor Craig tried to come up with solutions, even offering to help me complete the shoot over his lunch hour. I wasn’t having any of it. It made for a miserable walk to the gym, which was a place I didn’t even want to go at this point. (And yes, I looked super weird when I walked in at 7am with full makeup on. Who does that? Don’t judge me.) Overall, I was just angry.
Compared to the larger scheme of life, I was so angry at something so little and petty. This photo shoot didn’t really matter and everyone would be ok if it didn’t get posted. And I was actually able to pull enough photos to still make a blog post. But the anger still welled up inside me so quickly.
After I got home from the gym, this verse just kept coming to me. It’s one of those verses that I’ve known since I was a little girl and can be so easy to read and teach, but so hard to actually live out. I was immediately convicted to be slow to anger and really, to not get angry over something so menial. Who wants to live life through angry eyes? Not me.